modern motherhood

I am feeling a little sorry for my family. The past two nights they
have had crummy dinners. Well, they loved them because it was pizza
and Wendy's. I felt terrible for infusing their bodies with that junk.

The problem is that I am looking to go back to work. And the journey I
am embarking on has involved a phone interview and two live
interviews. Due to my stress level and my self preparing I have
completely neglected my family. This begs the question "What will
happen when I get the job?"

I realize that I will need to be more prepared, more organized and
maybe get more help. The idea of modern motherhood is that we moms
think we can do it all, be it all, conquer everything. By ourselves.
No help. It's kind of a slap in the face to those around us who
continually offer to help. But we don't see it that way. We see it as
success. We pat ourselves on the back and say "look at what I have
accomplished!" It is a badge to be worn and admired.

Really it is just stupidity. Why wouldn't we take help? Why wouldn't I
let my husband cook? Or grocery shop? Or fold clothes, okay that one I
do let him do, I really hate laundry. But the point is will the world
stop spinning if I don't do those things? Or if they are not done
exactly the way I would do them? No, no it would not.

That is a hard thought to swallow if you are a type A, compulsive,
control freak. And I am. So this idea of modern motherhood needs to
evolve and shift into a new idea for me. I need to morph was I was
doing with what I will be able to do. I will need to look for help.
And I will need to not pick on myself if I am not superwoman. My kids
will not suffer, my husband will not suffer and Wendy's every now and
then definitely will not kill them.