Bullies

I really hate people who bully. I think that it is a nasty personality
trait. I do not enjoy being bullied and have made a point in my life
to step in when I see others around me being bullied, adults and
children alike.

I know personally I have been bullied by my husband's family to be
and do as they would have me. I have found this to be a very bad
thing. It has affected my marriage and my mothering alike. You
shouldn't try to be someone you are not to please those around you. I
did and it didn't stop the bullying and just made me a shadow of my
former self. It also made me resentful to these women and my husband
who I felt didn't step in to stop it. He rather just accepted it as
who they were. Truly that makes me sad. Sad for me being bullied and
sad for them that this type of behavior is "accepted."

I am not sure as a mom how to deal with bullying from my children
however. My eldest is constantly picking on his younger sister. To the
point of her screaming and hitting him. Unfortunately then I have two
issues, the hitting and the bullying. Now I am in a pickle because I
have to send them to separate corners to deal with everyone. And
usually in the end it doesn't make a lick of difference. And the only
thing that has happened is I have lost my cool and wasted my time.

So my question is do you deal with bullying? How do you stop it?
Should I just let them work it out? I am concerned because my son
seems to take a great interest in it and often has a little smirky
smile on his face. Which to be honest is a button pusher for me. I
don't want him to grow up to be a bully. I don't want him to be like
those people in our family who bullied me. It makes me concerned that
these behaviors are genetic as well as learned.

I want my children to be more like me and be a bully stopper. I hope
that in the end I can show them these traits through my actions and
words and that in the end they will choose to emulate me.

I would love to hear from others who might be having bullying issues
as well!