school

I recently returned to the work force, albeit part time, and find
myself no longer volunteering at my children's school as I had in the
past. So when it was brought to my attention recently that feces and
urine were not making it into the toilet at school but were being
wiped and or spread about the restrooms my children used I was
appalled! What is the school doing about this? No much. They are
unable to. They do not have enough volunteers and or teacher's aides
to monitor bathroom trips.

I find this interesting in the light of all the 'teacher fallout' that
we have been hearing in the news lately. Is it normal behavior to hang
out in the bathroom? Yes. But is it normal to play with your feces or
urine? No! Where were the teachers? Well, they were in the classroom
with the other 31 students trying to teach. They have to trust that
children, some as young as 4 and 5, can go to the restroom unaided.

Not only can they not monitor all the children at one time but they
have to trust that the children's parents , God forbid, actually
taught them manners and good behaviors. What? But that's what we pay
them to do right? I mean they have our children all day. The teachers
should be responsible for teaching them math, science, reading,
writing, civics, social studies, art, music, physical education and
how to properly behave in society all in the course of the day. And
let's not forget they aren't just teaching one child but rather 32.
That's the classroom average at our school.

I don't know about you, but I have three children of my own, and I
find it daunting to teach them all of those things. I secretly pray
that they say please and thank you to their friend's parents on their
own accord! I simply cannot fathom why we entrust our youth to a
select group of individuals, who must according to our state continue
pursuing a higher education at their own cost, and not think that they
are worth the benefits and pay that their unions try to negotiate for
them.

Why is it that we can continue to vote in politicians who will receive
either their current wages or a stipend of them for the remainder of
their lives but question the minimal pay that teacher's receive. Think
of the amount you would have to receive to clean up a child who is
covered in feces or urine in your classroom because they simply went
to use the public restroom, then decide if we pay teacher's enough.

antics of a two year old

My two year old is incredibly cute. Of course I am biased, wouldn't
you be? She is also incredibly independent. She must do everything
"all by myself!" If you attempt to help her then you cause a major
meltdown. And those meltdowns are rapidly becoming infamous in my
household. Even my other two children will tell their father or each
other "don't help her, she'll only scream!" My older two children are
even perfecting the eye roll whenever these meltdowns occur.

She is so independent she is potty training herself. This one has been
a bit difficult to understand because I sat for hours on the side of
the tub with my older two children reading stories. With my third you
are generally not allowed to cross the threshold into the bathroom
with her. You are also not allowed to help her in any way. No helping
with her pants, her pull up or diaper, no helping her onto the toilet.
Also, she has decided that she no longer needs to use the stool to
reach the toilet. Being the shortest of my children this is incredibly
fun to watch, but she climbs up just fine. Did I mention that she is
also incredibly stubborn?

The sunny side to all of this is when she says things like "I lub you
Mommy! I lub you berry much!" Or when she does something that hurts me
and she says "I sowwy. I kiss it?" These are the melting moments. They
are what probably what get me through the meltdowns.

Raising children is never easy and I truly believe that we are all
only given what we can deal with. Sometimes it may seem like a bit
much but other times it seems so easy. In the end you have to find the
balance of parenting. This can be tricky, especially if you have more
than one child. I know that there are days I put myself in a 'Mommy
timeout'. My children are not perfect, I am not perfect. And some
days being a mom can be incredibly difficult. Those are the days that
I live for the "I lub you Mommy" moments and I embrace them with all
the two year old love they come with.

Re: Reader's Story

Thanks! Wow!
I do have a blog but it is just something I post to once a week or so.
it is quiltsforfun.kikimom@blogger.com

Kirsten

On Feb 28, 2011, at 9:46 AM, Penny Williams wrote:

> Kirsten,
>
> I am posting your reader's story on {amom's view of ADHD} today. Do
> you have a website, blog page, twitter page or the like you'd like
> me to link to as well?
>
> Kindly,
> Penny
>
> Penny Williams
> 828/768-7366
> pennywpenny@gmail.com
>
> From: EmailMeForm [mailto:burst@emailmeform.com]
> Sent: Sunday, February 20, 2011 3:20 PM
> To: pennywpenny@gmail.com
> Subject: Feedback via the Reader's Story
>
> Name:
> Kirsten Battaglia
> Email:
> quiltsforfun@wowway.com
> List ADHD Children w/age and school grade:
> Nicholas, 9, 4th grade
> :
> :
> List Non-ADHD Children w/age and grade:
> Teagan, 6.5, 1st grade
> :
> Nina, 2,
> :
> Who are you?( Are you a working mom or a Stay At Home Mom? Married?
> What was your childhood like? Etc.):
> Part time working mom/part time stay at home mom. Married to a
> wonderful man who is also ADD. Discovered that all my 'hot' buttons
> are caused by all of my husband/son's ADD/ADHD behaviors. Go figure.
> One word to describe your ADHD child::
> Emotional
> What about your life makes your ADHD story uniquely yours? (i.e.,
> single parent, you are ADHD too, your child has co-morbid
> conditions, your child is adopted, etc.) :
> I don't know that my ADHD story is unique. I think my situation is
> probably pretty similar to others. But maybe what makes it unique is
> that I am able to share it.
> How did your ADHD child come to be diagnosed?:
> We had my son's first, second and third grade teachers all point it
> out. I didn't want it to be true and he is the youngest in his class
> so I made excuses for his immature and emotional behaviors. By
> midway through third grade I came to grips that my son was not
> 'normal'. That his excessive outbursts were not due to being young.
> What are your ADHD child's strengths/gifts/talents? Weaknesses?
> Obsessions?:
> Nicholas lives in extremes. When he is compassionate he is uber
> compassionate. When he is a bully he is truly a jerk. He is
> exceptionally smart, sometimes this is good, sometimes it can
> actually be detrimental. People see how smart he is but they don't
> understand why he has his outbursts or why he acts like he has the
> maturity of a two year old. They don't understand ADHD and
> intelligence are not intermingled. He can hyper focus like no one I
> know! Legos and reading can take him away from the world for hours.
> Meanwhile dinner time is spent standing up to eat and he is done and
> wants to be excused almost immediately.
> What sports or extra-curricular activities does your child
> participate in successfully?:
> He played soccer and was very good at it. In fact he played goalie.
> He is not afraid to dive in front of a ball. But he didn't like it.
> He tried football this year. He likes it but doesn't like practices.
> He just wants to play in the games. I am not sure he will ever be
> great at sports due to the inability to focus during practices.
> We'll see.
> He was involved in a lego robotics team this year. He did that well
> but again he likes the competitions not the planning.
> What strategies do you employ to cope with ADHD?:
> We have lists everywhere! Lists in the bathroom say things like did
> you brush your teeth, brush your hair, wash your face. The door list
> says do you have your lunch, your homework, your folders, is it
> library today? is it gym today? We have them for cleaning his room,
> for doing chores, for everything! This enables me to not ask him the
> same things everyday. I just can say did you check your list? I get
> less frustrated and it gives him a sense of control. Also, it breaks
> things down in doable tasks.
> If you could give one piece of advice to a parent of an ADHD child
> just diagnosed, what would it be?:
> Forgive yourself. It is hard as a parent to not question why your
> child has this. It is hard to understand and explain to others that
> your child has 'special needs'. It is not a'handicap' that is
> recognized. I would recommend that they do their homework on how
> they can best help their child but also themselves.
> If you could have a free 60-second spot on a public broadcast
> station, what would you share, show, say?:
> I would show pictures of my son like a photo montage. And have a
> voice over sharing my son's art work, accomplishments, abilities and
> then at the end I would show a video clip of the meltdowns and some
> of the more difficult times. Then I would simply say something like
> "The faces of ADHD."
> Does your child take medication to manage their ADHD? Is so, what
> medication and at what dosage? How does it work for them? What side
> effects do you see? :
> Yes. He is on Focalin 15mg. He takes it once a day. It does work for
> him but by the time he gets home from school he is coming 'down'
> from it. The result is we have lots of emotional meltdowns and
> arguments. It ensures he does well at school but it makes for really
> rough evenings at home. Also, snacking in the evening and sneaking
> food is his new thing. Once the meds wear off he if finally hungry
> and then eats pure junk instead of making healthy choices. Which
> prior to meds he was a great eater making really healthy choices.
> Before he never really like sugary foods but now they are his
> favorites.
> Does your child attend public school or a special school? Does he or
> she have an IEP or a 504 Plan? What kind of accommodations do they
> receive?:
> He attends public school. We do not have a plan currently but have
> considered one for next year. He does not receive any special
> accommodations because he has requested to not have them. He doesn't
> want to be seen as different.
> What else would you like to share with other parents on this similar
> journey?:
> Do your homework. Find support groups. Find websites and blogs like
> A Mom's View. Realize that it is a real condition and that life can
> be a bit more difficult for you and your child. But there are
> resources and people and lots of support. Surround yourself.
> Remember to also take care of yourself and your needs so that you
> can in turn take care of your child.
> Upload a picture of you, your child, together, etc.:
> DSC01376.JPG
>
>
>
> Powered by EmailMeForm
>
> <DSC01376.JPG>

traveling with kids...my new fear

My husband and I have planned a secret getaway for our family on
Monday. Both he and the kids have the week off of school for mid-
winter break. We are very excited about our trip. I started doing some
research today on tips that might be posted for families traveling to
our location. (Which by the way is a large indoor water park in
Sandusky. You should be able to figure it out now!)

To my surprise and horror I didn't find tips on how to use this
location with three kids of varying ages like I had hoped. What I did
find out was they have had several issues with bed bugs. Yikes! I have
traveled extensively with all of my children. I know how to plan for
long car rides, long plane rides, vacations that involve lots of
differing temperatures and require lots of clothing. I do not know how
to plan for the possibility of bed bugs.

So I did my homework. What I have found out is truly gross and made me
itch in my own home. The signs of infestation involve bugs, dead skin
and feces. May I just say YUCK! And of course my biggest fear is that
we may bring them home. I am lucky in that it is still freezing
temperatures here in Michigan and that freezing them is one way to
kill them. The other is washing everything in scalding hot water and
drying them on high.

My packing list now includes a flashlight for my husband's inspection
of the room and garbage bags for all of our things to be put into
before coming back into our home. Instead of bringing in our luggage
from the car when we check in we will be checking in with a
flashlight. I will distract the children by having them look around
while my husband goes to the room to investigate. But my reading has
warned that even though there are no outward signs of bedbugs they can
crawl through cracks in the wall and through the duct system. So even
though your room doesn't have them the room next to you might.

Needless to say my excitement over this trip has waned a bit. I am now
more worried about the possibility of an infestation of my own home.
Which I will share with you all I will not handle well. (Read: I WILL
FREAK OUT!) Our luggage and clothing will be put in the back yard and
remain outside overnight. I will then bring everything in and take it
straight to the laundry room where it will all go in the same load and
be washed probably two to three times. Am I being a bit obsessive?
Heck yes!

I am assured that we will have a lot of fun on our little mini-
vacation but unfortunately the bed bug issue will probably invade my
thoughts every now and then. I am sure I will not sleep well because I
will be worried about my children and bugs. It has brought to light a
whole new way of checking for hotels and research I will conduct for
our trips in the future.

just another day

Well Valentine's Day has come and gone. It is not really a day my
husband and I celebrate. I would rather that he buy me flowers or a
card on a random day rather than on a day he is 'supposed' to. That
being said I do celebrate with my children.

I had little mailboxes, that I found in the dollar section at a big
box store, waiting for them on the table with homemade valentines
inside. They each got a little gift as well. However, I kept it under
$5 for each of them. It was so special to see their faces light up at
their little Valentine's gifts. Even my son's face lit up!

This was really special to me because this is how my son and I can
still connect in a mommy-mushy way. I am no longer allowed to kiss him
goodbye at school. In fact the stand five feet away rule is in place
most of the time. But deep down I know he is only nine. He is still my
baby. He is growing up and trying very hard to fit in but every now
and then he will lean into me and allow me to hug him. It is
heartbreaking to me. I miss him. I know as his mom that this is the
right thing to do. But I also know that he sometimes looks at me
snuggling his two year old sister with longing.

Letting go and helping our children grow can sometimes be a hard thing
to do. I know sometimes I am ready for them to move out and go off to
college. And other days I wish they were all young and still snuggling
with me on the couch. Regardless each day is just that; a day. And I
think they should be all filled with love, not just the 'assigned' ones.

holey smokes people!

Well I will apologize for my prolonged absence. In my absence I tried
on several new hats. One being returning to work full time. That
particular hat was too tight, not the right color and really didn't
suit me, my family or my writing addiction. However, I did like the
style. So I kept that in mind as I attempted to try on a new hat of
similar style but with more pay, fewer hours and family friendly. I
will actually try this hat on for the first time on Monday so look for
Tuesday's posting!

With that in mind I will quickly recap the world of motherhood from
Christmas till now mid February. In short, we've all been sick. I have
fumigated the entire house at least three times in the past couple of
weeks. Just when I think it's safe to come out of my airlocked safety
suit and oxygen breathing apparatus, someone else contracts something.
In our household alone we have had three cases of strep, 2 colds, 3
cases of the flu and one ear infection. My pediatrician will probably
be sending me flowers this year for putting her children through
college.

Another hat I have tried on is the return to musical theater. I did
this in high school and truly enjoyed it. I just finished a show and
have already signed up to do another. (Look for show tunes to be
belted out during the writing of this blog.) The last show I did
involved my whole family, except my two year old. It was really fun!
My current show is just for me. It's been very fulfilling. It was
wonderful to see my children enjoying the theatre like I do and of
course I was a proud Mama watching them perform. It is also nice as a
mom to pick up a hobby I truly enjoy and that leaves me feeling sated
emotionally. And that is a hat that fits very well that I intend to
keep and wear often.

As moms we often wear many hats and sometimes wear several in the same
day. It is important to know the styles and colors that best
suit you. It is important to know that sometimes it's okay to put down
a hat that is beckoning to you. And that somedays it is just fine to
go without a hat at all!

when life gets in the way

What I really want to do today is stay in my yoga pants and slippers
and write. What I have to get done today is a laundry list of
activities for my children and for Church. I will not get any laundry
done, and it needs to be, I will not get any cleaning done, I think
there is there a floor underneath all that stuff, I will be lucky to
get dinner going in a crockpot and maybe get a shower in. But that's
not what I want to do.

I want to stay home today and continue the fabulous novel I have begun
as a part of writing challenge I accepted in the month of November.
The characters are calling for me to finish their stories. They want
to know how everything ends. And to be honest so do I. This novel has
taken so many turns that were unexpected that even as I sat writing I
would stop and think 'they did what?' It was almost as if my fingers
and brain were disconnected. I am enjoying reading my story as much as
writing it. Hence my disappointment at having to be a part of the real
world today. It is cold out, looks like snow and I have more
obligations that I happily volunteered for. What was I thinking?

I believe that moms today don't take enough time out for themselves.
Or if we do, we do it late at night, trying to fit in all the things
that we 'wanted' to do in a short span of time that eventually cuts
into our sleep. Then the vicious cycle begins of no sleep, grouchy
mom, yells at kids, doesn't get her stuff done, feels under
appreciated, feels selfish, puts kids to bed in evening, grabs glass
of wine, sits down at computer, forgets world and clock and writes,
looks up at clock and realizes if she goes to bed now she will get
exactly five hours of sleep, goes to sleep and then it begins again.
Okay, this may not be the typical scenario. It is my scenario. But if
you just fill in your activities I am sure it is a very similar cycle.
We sacrifice our own needs all day long and then again at night for
our children.

And what does all this sacrifice get us? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The kids don't recognize our sacrifices because well, they are kids.
Our husbands don't recognize our sacrifices because they actually go
to sleep at night. We as moms must simply endure this chaotic time
when our children are small. Our reward will come. Probably in the
form of grandchildren one day and the ability to say things like "huh!
Acts just like you!" to one of our own children. This is when
vindication will occur. But until then I will continue to rise early
and go to sleep late to continue my addiction to the written word. And
my children? Well it's the weekend and that's what t.v. and delivery
pizza are all about!